The diagnosis

“Give it to me straight, doc.”

“Well sir, your last quantum scan wasn’t so great. Your symptoms correspond perfectly with early signs of information decay disease.”

“C’mon, that’s a mistake.”

“I know how much personally flying Shpadoinkle’s routes means to you, but these flights all over the world were never meant to be piloted by just one person. The side effects of excessive teleporter use are well documented.”

“My 21st century airline needs me, please don’t do this.”

“The galactic federation’s health insurance policy does not exempt you from responsibility. If you continue to hurt yourself like this despite repeated warnings, you’re on your own.”

Seeing the pilot’s look of despair, the doctor quickly added:

“Unless… you take a month off from teleporting. You know, give yourself some time to heal. Have some fun. Shpadoinkle will be fine without you micromanaging everything.”

“That’s a great idea, doc. And I just happened to come across an alright trade a plane deal on a Piper Arrow in Alabama, so I guess I’ll start my teleportation-free month there. Beam me down, Scotty!”