Shpadoinkle Aviation Holdings End of Month Report

For the month of April, Shpadoinkle and its subsidiaries did well.

  1. FlyMAF

FlyMAF reported a company profit of $93k and $884k in assignment throughput as its chief pilot completely disobeyed company policy that bans landing anywhere other than KMAF and KHRL. FBO operations number at 100.

2. KSJC

As a major airport, KSJC has always been one of Shpadoinkle’s focus airports for developing traffic and for this month, we achieved 99 flight operations. On the bright side, our 12 month average is now… 69

3. VHSK

As our hub in east Asia, VHSK reported 86 operations – the highest in 12 months.

4. CYBC

Traffic at our Quebec hub dropped to 54.

5. Transcontinental 3000 mile ferry network

I doubt anyone used it, but its still cool to have and I’m never gonna give it up.

6. FBO sales

Many properties in the US Northeast have been liquidated due to falling into disuse. I am confident a buyer will be found for KWAY, yet RCGM remains difficult to sell without incurring massive losses.

7. Aircraft acquisition

Shpadoinkle has acquired a new DC3 (what is this – our third?). Unlike previous DC3s, we plan to keep this one, & at our Iraq hub, where we have sufficient jobs available to achieve a relatively high load factor.

8. 2 FBO networks

Activity at ETNG-LFQJ was low due to an unreliable aircraft delivery contractor. The Challenger 300 is now stationed there. Activity also dipped at our 3 lot 2 FBO networks of OERYxOEPS, FYWHxFYGB, and OEHRxOEJB.

9. YGEL

We are disappointed that the facility owners at YPPH have decided to change the configuration of their facilities. We will continue to offer flights YGEL to YPPH as I am a big fan of real life airline routes (hence the SJC-RNO/SJC-LAX connections)

10. Misc/small FBOs

They are what they are, I don’t expect them to perform well, they are cute to have.

11. Shpadionkle Aviation Holdings

I did $2.6M worth of jobs for the Shpadoinkle mainline, translating to far less in profits while frequently maxing out hours. Its not the most profitable use of my hours but I like longer flights which are a more realistic use of aircraft anyway (not that we don’t have extremely short routes

12. Performance at our rented facility hosts

Were good enough. No reason to evict us.

13. Performance at our destinations

KLAX had less pax, VMMC remained steady, YPPH activity increased (which explains it)

14. FBO income?

Negligible/loss. Shush.

Peace

 

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Shpadoinkle’s Super Spending Strategy

While other aviation companies spend their capital on worthless things like aircraft and ground facilities and employees, Shpadoinkle spends all our money on supplies! And that’s the story of how we blew 2 of the 3 million v$ from a recent loan. You laugh now but you’ll be sorry when the zombie apocalypse comes and you can’t get printing paper for your FBO.

Shpadoinkle Air’s Booking Policy Since 1984

Recently, it has come to our attention that our equal and direct competitor United Airlines (UAL, -999.99%), did some very bad things and mistreated its customers in ways that would make you choose Shpadoinkle Air for your next flight instead. Shpadoinkle Air is proud to announce that in our long and rich history as a silicon valley startup since 1969, we have never participated in the practices of overbooking or involuntary de-boarding.

In 1984 when we discovered overbooking was a thing, we developed a revolutionary customer service policy. At every opportunity, we remind our passengers that: they are our valued customers, some seated passengers were never on the right flight to begin with, and that we were always at peace with Oceania.