Shpadoinkle’s Super Spending Strategy

While other aviation companies spend their capital on worthless things like aircraft and ground facilities and employees, Shpadoinkle spends all our money on supplies! And that’s the story of how we blew 2 of the 3 million v$ from a recent loan. You laugh now but you’ll be sorry when the zombie apocalypse comes and you can’t get printing paper for your FBO.

Shpadoinkle’s Worldwide Ferry Network

ferry networkEvery labeled stop is a Shpadoinkle ferry stop. Ferry Stops offer the following: $3.75 100LL, $3.5 Jet A, Bulk fuel trading (buy and sell), 10000 Gallon fuel restock threshold, 5% maintenance markup.

Ferry stop airports have 5000ft+ runways and are verified to exist in stock FSX and XP11, with their FSE identifier. Ferry stops are located within 3000NM range of 99% of airports in the world.

Ferry legs, indicated by red or green lines, have a distance of less than 3000NM per leg. Green ferry legs provide cost offset assignments to save money without adding detours or stops to your route. Travel from any Ferry Stop to any Ferry Stop can be achieved in 6 legs or less.

If you want to ship crated aircraft, choose our network for your crate and uncrate point! If you ferry aircraft or transport goods and assignments long distance, choose our network for your enroute fuel and maintenance needs!

Better 14 Months Late Than Never

Forever I flew the Captain Sim Lockheed C130 Hercules (purchased during the January 2017 sale) accepting that engines would start quitting below certain fuel levels. Instead of solving the root issue of not having enough non fuel starved engines to take off, I would simply start my flight at altitude and speed and hope I had enough working engines to sustain flight.

Today I finally decided to put the vacuum behind my eyes to work and learn me some fuel crossfeed. It is ridiculously intuitive. Still, I’m feeling quite proud of myself for figuring it out without looking it up.

c130

The diagnosis

“Give it to me straight, doc.”

“Well sir, your last quantum scan wasn’t so great. Your symptoms correspond perfectly with early signs of information decay disease.”

“C’mon, that’s a mistake.”

“I know how much personally flying Shpadoinkle’s routes means to you, but these flights all over the world were never meant to be piloted by just one person. The side effects of excessive teleporter use are well documented.”

“My 21st century airline needs me, please don’t do this.”

“The galactic federation’s health insurance policy does not exempt you from responsibility. If you continue to hurt yourself like this despite repeated warnings, you’re on your own.”

Seeing the pilot’s look of despair, the doctor quickly added:

“Unless… you take a month off from teleporting. You know, give yourself some time to heal. Have some fun. Shpadoinkle will be fine without you micromanaging everything.”

“That’s a great idea, doc. And I just happened to come across an alright trade a plane deal on a Piper Arrow in Alabama, so I guess I’ll start my teleportation-free month there. Beam me down, Scotty!”

RLFD pilot journal – Part 1

From the journals of Royally Lost Flying Doctors pilot Edward J Franklin

5am, Australia time.

After spending the entire night losing online poker, I was ready to take to the bed. That’s when my phone rang.

Aw, work.

“This is Ed”

“G’Day MATE, we need you at the airport asap.”

“Isn’t it Tarlson’s shift right now? Ask him” I said, yawning.

“No good he won’t answer his phone, so its down to you.”

“Great” I said, heading for my bag. “What is it?”

“You know the rumors a few days back about that patient with that condition?”

“What? Who?”

“The invisible man.”

“Oh. Wait, what?”

“Yeah, turns out that was true, and now they’re in need of urgent transport to Perth”

“Why not book an airline ticket? It’d be much faster. And whose ‘they’?”

“Patient and his doctor. Turns out it might be contagious. Sexually, so don’t worry about it, we just don’t want the public loosing their barbies on the grill about invisible people so we need to get them to the researchers covertly and quickly.”

assignments

“Um, okay. Guess I’m flying 3000 metric miles to Perth then”

“And you’re taking the twiesel (twin diesel). Jet rental prices are crazy these days – and so are the landing fees at Perth, so you’re gonna have to deliver the specimens – *ahem* – patients – to our new base at Geraldton in the twiesel and we’ll drive them down by road van.”

At this point I was in my car, a Tesla Model S. I started the engine which sputtered to life.

“One more thing Ed, the RFDS has been thoroughly humiliating us recently and our numbers aren’t looking good. It is vital you complete this mission successfully, so we can pounce on those Pilatus flying servicers like an angry kangaroo. Good luck and may the force be with you”

“NO SPOILERS!” I shouted, and hung up.

6 am, Australian time

I stepped out of my car, which thanks to its 0-100 metric mph speed of 3 seconds, had already self driven me to the aircraft ramp in Glen Innes.

“They’re in the twiesel” said the Chief Mechanic as I walked by him sabotaging a customer’s plane with a maintenance interval reducing device.

I found the twiesel sitting on the warm tarmac, gently shaking in the summer wind, with the side hatch open.

I peered into the cabin, expecting to see floating clothes sitting in the back. “Hello?”

I could see nothing in the back but the plane stopped rocking. “mmmmph” the invisible mass replied. The rocking resumed and I could hear some weird organic noises.

I squeezed into the front left seat, and then took out my ipad.

Plan flight… ok file… brief… then I hit the next button about 20 times to complete the brief, then said to my passengers – ok, lets go.

pilot doctor patient

In no time I was in the air. I set the navigation to point me towards my first fuel stop at YBHI, and target altitude to FL180. As we climbed out I glanced at the oxygen system, and decided its levels would be enough for the trip for 1 user….

To be continued.

The best scenery

Why are we settling for paying out the ass for hand-crafted payware scenery only available in limited locations, or using flat orthographic scenery / default generic scenery, when we already have the technology for this in google maps:

fsgoal

Of course, that’s boston logan so someone has probably already produced photorealistic scenery for the area. sc

This is from the south coast of massachusetts. Like many obscure locations, nobody has made custom flight sim scenery for it, and nobody ever will until the end of time. Yet google has already produced a perfect 3D replica of it that anyone can browse, for free.

No pax left behind ad campaign?

Kind of a tricky thing for the FSE environment, given that the very idea is a parody of a political thing that people have opinions about. Probably doesn’t help that I used the actual picture instead of recreating it in paint, and while it certainly wasn’t my intention, the imagery of the president hand-flying a miniature airplane, however funny and interesting that would be, does seem like it would have 9/11 (and possibly conspiracy) connotations, yikes!

It sure sucks that we can’t simply have innocent fun. If I do submit this to the FSEreporter for october’s ad, it won’t be the GWB in a classroom version, unfortunately.