From the journals of Royally Lost Flying Doctors pilot Edward J Franklin
5am, Australia time.
After spending the entire night losing online poker, I was ready to take to the bed. That’s when my phone rang.
“This is Ed”
“G’Day MATE, we need you at the airport asap.”
“Isn’t it Tarlson’s shift right now? Ask him” I said, yawning.
“No good he won’t answer his phone, so its down to you.”
“Great” I said, heading for my bag. “What is it?”
“You know the rumors a few days back about that patient with that condition?”
“The invisible man.”
“Oh. Wait, what?”
“Yeah, turns out that was true, and now they’re in need of urgent transport to Perth”
“Why not book an airline ticket? It’d be much faster. And whose ‘they’?”
“Patient and his doctor. Turns out it might be contagious. Sexually, so don’t worry about it, we just don’t want the public loosing their barbies on the grill about invisible people so we need to get them to the researchers covertly and quickly.”
“Um, okay. Guess I’m flying 3000 metric miles to Perth then”
“And you’re taking the twiesel (twin diesel). Jet rental prices are crazy these days – and so are the landing fees at Perth, so you’re gonna have to deliver the specimens – *ahem* – patients – to our new base at Geraldton in the twiesel and we’ll drive them down by road van.”
At this point I was in my car, a Tesla Model S. I started the engine which sputtered to life.
“One more thing Ed, the RFDS has been thoroughly humiliating us recently and our numbers aren’t looking good. It is vital you complete this mission successfully, so we can pounce on those Pilatus flying servicers like an angry kangaroo. Good luck and may the force be with you”
“NO SPOILERS!” I shouted, and hung up.
6 am, Australian time
I stepped out of my car, which thanks to its 0-100 metric mph speed of 3 seconds, had already self driven me to the aircraft ramp in Glen Innes.
“They’re in the twiesel” said the Chief Mechanic as I walked by him sabotaging a customer’s plane with a maintenance interval reducing device.
I found the twiesel sitting on the warm tarmac, gently shaking in the summer wind, with the side hatch open.
I peered into the cabin, expecting to see floating clothes sitting in the back. “Hello?”
I could see nothing in the back but the plane stopped rocking. “mmmmph” the invisible mass replied. The rocking resumed and I could hear some weird organic noises.
I squeezed into the front left seat, and then took out my ipad.
Plan flight… ok file… brief… then I hit the next button about 20 times to complete the brief, then said to my passengers – ok, lets go.
In no time I was in the air. I set the navigation to point me towards my first fuel stop at YBHI, and target altitude to FL180. As we climbed out I glanced at the oxygen system, and decided its levels would be enough for the trip for 1 user….
To be continued.